How to interrupt a wedding with a bulldozer

24 Jul

While bulldozers are mainly used as earth moving equipment, their practicality as wedding interrupters has only been lightly explored.

There are thousands of reasons for wanting to interrupt a wedding. Maybe you’d like the couple to reconsider their vows. Maybe the bible readings seem trite, or over-the-top. Maybe your seat is uncomfortable, or you’re just bored.

Whatever the case, a bulldozer splintering through the side of the church or synagogue will certainly bring everything to a quick halt. While standing up and professing your love for the bride is emotional and awkward, plowing through the ceremony in a bulldozer is easy and impersonal, especially if your eyes are filled with tears. While listening to the groom’s little sister sing an off-key version of From This Moment On can be tedious, running over her with a bulldozer will certainly bring an end to everyone’s agony.

Once you’re inside the building, don’t feel like you have to drive around, crushing everything in sight. Just blast through the other side and keep going.

While a wedding is the obvious application, other events can be interrupted as well with a bulldozer: homecomings, dog shows, garage sales. Use your imagination!

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