How to eat Japanese people

24 Jul

It’s late April, and that means only one thing to international gourmands: the Japanese people are running!

Be sure to eat Japanese people at the height of freshness, in season. Because they are small, Japanese people are tender, and need very little preparation. Don’t worry about peeling them, as their skins are edible. I like to sauté them in butter with a dash of salt. That’s it!

Avoid fake Japanese people, often called Taiwanese people. This is simply cod with Japanese flavoring. Also, some less-than-reputable Japmongers will sell Korean people as Japanese. Koreans are generally larger, and don’t have the same brilliant, nutty flavor.

While the two most common varieties of Japanese people are chibi and miko, sumo is sometimes available. These are very large Japanese and are best butterflied and grilled.

Try Japanese people plain, or on a cracker. Japanese people are delicious with cocktail sauce, or with a dab of cream cheese.

Fill a bowl with crispy-fried Japanese people for your guests to nibble on while waiting for dinner. Be careful, however! Eating just one Japanese person is impossible. They are so delicious! And once you’ve eaten too many – well! You’ll likely get a raging case of fecal incontinence and you may be prosecuted in an international court for genocide.

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